1. |
Old Man Johnson
03:26
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Old Man Johnson was a no-toothed man,
Old Man Johnson went crazy mad,
Old Man Johnson had no pets,
Lived alone with regrets.
Hey mister Johnson, well hey mister Joe,
When ya gonna die?
Hey mister Johnson, well hey mister Joe,
Lay down and cry!
Hey mister Johnson, well hey mister Joe,
When ya gonna die?
Hey mister Johnson! How are you today?
Oh, calcium pills huh? Well, that's not good.
Old Man Johnson fell and broke a hipbone,
Couldn't call for help, couldn't reach a phone,
Old Man Johnson wasn't seen anymore,
Lived out his life on the floor.
Well, Old Man Johnson's dead now.
But we don't really care.
We'd feel bad but like I said, nobody cares.
Hey mister Johnson, hey mister Joe,
Hey mister Johnson, hey mister Joe,
Hey mister Johnson, hey mister Joe,
Die!
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2. |
(Be Kind) Rewind my Mind
03:08
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Work at your video store,
Why don't you rewind your movie no more?
I'm heartbroken 'cause I love you,
But you're late returning movies; they're way past due.
Maybe I could love you if we sold DVDs,
You need to pay your late fees,
Your bad habits put me in a bind,
I just need you to rewind my mind.
You come in just past three,
Try and play it off by smiling at me,
"No it's not fair!" I wanna shout,
Baby I don't think we're gonna work out.
Rewind my mind, rewind mine,
Rewind my mind, rewind mine,
Rewind my mind, rewind mine,
Rewind my mind, rewind mine.
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3. |
Holy Land
05:02
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Red lights disturb the darkness,
And explosions rock the night,
Then quickly all is silent,
A ceasing of the fight.
They tell me "serve your country,"
We are the soldiers of the light,
But I see only smoke and ruins,
And I hope to God we're right.
We are the soldiers of the light,
On this sacred ground we stand,
We'll free this country with our might, now,
And liberate the holy land.
I hear dreams of independence,
Our supposed holy land,
We'll tell tales to our descendants,
All freed from the whiter man.
But I see the tears and the bloodshed,
And the stories never match,
I see ours among the wounded -
Just an unintended catch?
It seems our leaders aren't so righteous,
And our country never mends,
They speak of God just to incite us,
And use us as means to an end.
But I love my friends and family,
And I can't leave them to die,
I fight because I have to,
That's the only reason why.
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4. |
Answer Me
04:08
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Baby, we've been through a lot,
But we turned out okay,
I can see you smile and it's the bright spot of my day.
But if we're getting serious,
There's things I have to say,
Got a question for you if I may...
Do you have herpes?
'Cause I see you scratch a lot,
If you do that's all right,
I just won't gamble with your crotch.
These are things I need to know,
Baby, can't you see?
This is the last question, promise,
Won't you answer me?
Don't you think it's time enough that you put down your cat?
Why'd you get mad when I said those jeans make you look fat?
Shouldn't you go get a job? It's not that hard a task.
This is the last thing I need to ask...
Who the hell was he?
Yes, I know what you did.
Hope it wasn't Scott
Because I really hate that kid.
Baby, we've been through a lot,
But we turned out okay,
I can see you smile and it's the bright spot of my day.
But if we're getting serious,
There's things I have to say,
Got a question for you if I may...
I hate your mother,
And I think she hates me too.
That's all right, I'll outlive her
By one decade or two.
These are things I need to know,
Baby, can't you see?
This is the last question, darling,
Won't you answer me?
Won't you answer me?
Won't you answer me?
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5. |
Song From the Ad
03:36
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Acoustic riff, melodic feel,
Do you want more features, and a better deal?
Slogans come up, the product is shot,
Look at that phone, it begs to be bought.
Song from the ad (It's the song from the ad),
It's the best phone you'll ever have,
Well it's the song from the ad (It's the song from the ad),
It's the best phone you'll ever have.
Electric rock, and harder kicks,
Would you like more horsepower, and to pick up chicks?
Slogans come up, and away we go,
Look at that truck; you'll never go slow, no no no.
Song from the ad (It's the song from the ad),
It's the best truck you'll ever have,
Well it's the song from the ad (It's the song from the ad),
It's the best truck you'll ever have.
Every time your show takes a break,
It's the same old ads,
With the same old background songs,
Someone's wallet pads.
Money's not for talent,
It's for those who sell their work,
Trying to sell cars and clothes
To white man middle-age jerks.
Our album is out, it has this song,
And others like it, that you'll forget before long.
You bought our album, 'cause we're on TV,
Trying to sell you a Mazda 3.
Song from the ad (It's the song from the ad),
Buy our album with the song from the ad,
Well it's the song from the ad (It's the song from the ad),
Buy it buy it buy it ba-buy it buy it buy it ahh!
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6. |
Lose the Weight
04:04
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You walk around so slowly,
You've got something weighing you down,
Puts pressure on your heart,
Keeps you from sleeping 'round.
The extra weight's the problem,
Every class you show up late,
Pushes your friends away,
You just need to lose the weight.
Lose the weight, lose the weight.
It's sucking the life out of you,
You'll be dead before your time,
Your parents are angry too,
They cut you off without a dime.
They make it clear however,
It's not you that they hate,
But it's a waste of money
When every penny feeds the weight.
Lose the weight, lose the weight.
Lose the weight, lose the weight.
You've been carrying around,
An extra 150 pounds,
There's no time to hesitate,
You need to run as far as you can,
(Stop being the bigger man,)
It's time, lose the weight.
She's not the right girl for you,
She's needy and plays with your mind,
She keeps you to herself,
And does things so unkind.
She'll bitch at you all day
And make you pay on every date,
You've got no reason to keep her,
She's the problem, she's the weight.
She's the weight, she's the weight.
She's the weight, she's the weight.
You're walking around so slowly,
You've got someone weighing you down,
She puts pressure on your heart,
Keeps you from sleeping 'round.
Your extra weight's the problem,
Every class you show up late,
Pushes your friends away,
She's the problem, she's the weight.
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7. |
Stuck Here Playing Pop
02:59
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Uh!
Some want blues and suede shoes,
We just want to make the evening news.
We tried to sell our souls,
Just so we could make it,
We tried to sell our souls,
But the Devil wouldn't take it,
We tried to sell our souls,
So the band'll reach the top,
But the Devil wouldn't take it,
We're stuck here playing pop.
Some want money, women, and power,
We just want our set to last an hour.
[Painful rejection.]
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8. |
Throw Them Bodies Away
04:56
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We met a man last night who
Said that we were part of the plan,
He said he had a gun,
We could not run, we'd die where we stand.
I stood scared frozen
And I remember to this day,
Said those words, my stomach turned,
When I heard him say:
"Throw them bodies away!
Throw them bodies away!
Throw them bodies away!
Throw them bodies away!"
He rants and raves while showing
Us the bodies in the trunk,
Said what he did to them's still
Haunting him, the corpses how they stunk!
I will admit that I was frightened
And the odor made me sick,
We filled up the backseat, drove
Down the street, accelerating quick...
We reached a bridge and threw
The dead into the water,
He jumped as well, fell straight to
Hell to end the slaughter.
Officer, it wasn't our fault,
That they washed away.
Accessory, but forcefully,
This is what I say.
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The Convenient Distractions Victoria, British Columbia
The Convenient Distractions include guitarist/vocalist Brody, bassist Jordan Lambeth, and drummer Ryan Krasman. Originally from Campbell River and based in Victoria, this power trio has crafted two albums full of rock and other such nonsense. Whether advising on poor relationships or chronicling a video store employee's obsession with a customer, they will certainly distract. ... more
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