1. |
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We're an awesome band because we play cool music and all that stuff
We're an awesome band because we know three chords and that's enough
We're an awesome band because we play at school instead of clubs
We're an awesome band because we use lots of overdubs
We're an awesome band because a second guitar we do without
We're an awesome band because we'll never sell out
Sprite's an awesome drink because it's carbonated with lemon and lime
We're an awesome band because we play in 5/4 time
We're an awesome band because we wrote this song all on our own
We're an awesome band although we stole this part from The Ramones
Hey, ho, let's go! Hey, ho, let's go!
We're an awesome band because our sound's so raw it'll melt your face
We're an awesome band because we play chords on the bass
We're an awesome band because we'll never forget the words
We're an awesome band because...oh wait, what was it? Umm?
We're an awesome band because we know when to end our songs
We're awesome!
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2. |
Ew Sleazy
03:20
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Big lips, I don't like them
Bit tits, they're too large
You shake your hips on my T.V.
I think the problem is I don't like it sleazy
Ew
Ew
I don't like you
Ew
I don't like my bread bleached white
I don't worry about walking at night
It doesn't take whores to please me
I think the problem is I don't like it sleazy
You've got makeup all over your face
I can tell you've been all over the place
I don't like girls who are easy
I think the problem is I don't like it sleazy
I don't want you, Ew
I don't need you, Ew
I can't stand you, Ew
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3. |
Canadian Justice
03:32
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Big bus, Greyhound
Look at this shiny knife I found
Stab wound, loud scream
Stop the bus and flee the scene
RCMP, Someone alert the CBC
Dead man, no head
Sleeping passenger quickly dead
The voices made me do it
I guess I was insane
Judge says "you need some treatment
'til you're okay again"
Canadian Justice
Canadian Justice, ah ah
Canadian Justice
Guilty man, go free!
Reena, at school,
She's not popular, she's not cool,
Big party, end of the week,
Come visit by the creek.
Teens swarm, like bees,
Use your elbows, feet and knees,
Underwater, hold her head,
She won't bother us when she's dead.
Evil Kelly Ellard
Shouldn't see the light of day,
Few mistrials later,
She's still not put away.
Solo from the bass!
Waitress, cut down
Murder shakes a little prairie town
Sex offender, next door
He's no suspect, there's just gotta be more
David Milgaard
Canadian justice is coming down hard
Nice job, good plan
Only convicting an innocent man
We're gonna call you killer
And put you away
20 years for being
Near the killer that day
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4. |
Happy Tuesday
01:46
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Sitting in class,
Wishing it was done
But it's only Tuesday morning
And the week's just begun
Put my phones in my ears
And I listen to the tunes I forgot for years
Happy Tuesday was the list I played
Happy Tuesday just made my day
French class is boring
Math makes me wanna die
Home Ec. is awful
We don't make pie
What the hell, man?
Like, I mean, what kind of sick, twisted world is this where we can't make pie every single day in Home Ec. class?
Like, everybody loves pie, everybody!
It's nice and crispy and warm on the top and everything is so, so sweet and nice on the inside, mmm
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5. |
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This is what we call rap.
Best damn drummer you've ever seen
Don't call it the crash, call it the green
Learned the real from playing the fake
I'm way too good to make a mistake
Now I think I'll learn the guitar
With five buttons and a strum bar
But I'm a real good drummer, so I do as I will
Four coloured bars, here comes the fill
Double point multiplier!
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6. |
I (I)
02:06
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I, I don't know who I am and
I, I don't know if I can and
I, I won't obey the man
I won't obey, I won't obey him
I, I am walking the streets and
I, I am getting sore feet and
I, I keep dropping the beat
I keep dropping it, I keep dropping the beat
You are bringing me down
Oh down, straight down to the ground
And you are being so mean
So dirty, so obscure and unclean
Yeah!
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7. |
My Cat Hates Me
02:17
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This song is called "My Cat Hates Me"
You see, every night in the middle of the night
I really gotta go to the bathroom, so I get up and run
And I pretty much every night manage to step on my cat's tail
He's not really pleased, this happens every night
It wouldn't be that big of a deal if it only happened once
But it is, and this leads me to believe one thing
My cat hates me
Aaah, aaah, ow!
Meow!
x4
And like I said, this happens every night
If it only happened once, it wouldn't be a big deal, but it is
You know what? Actually, it's his fault
He's the one in the way, he's the one sitting in the hallway
But I can't blame him, he's a cat, that's what they do
Ah, I wish for once I could look at him and think
"Wow, that animal likes me"
But no, every time our eyes meet, I look at him, ugh
He just looks at me with that awful little look
My cat hates me
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8. |
...And I Hate My Stepdad
04:51
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All you people with your perfect lives
You just don't know how hard it is to be me
'Cause I have black bangs, and they hang in my eyes
And they make it really hard to see
I spend my days going through a phase
And making sure I'm always poorly dressed
And I have no friends, 'cause I whine too much
So I've convinced myself that I am depressed
I hate my sister and my brother
Teacher, classmates and my mother
And I hate my Stepdad
And I hate my Stepdad
I stay up late and sleep past noon
With nothing in the hours in between
I hope I get a girlfriend soon
'Cause I want to go and try on ladies' jeans
My sleeves have holes and my hood is up
Earbuds in and Fall Out Boy comes through
Razor's out, my wrists are cut
'Cause, damnit, there's just nothing to do
It's so easy to write an Emo song
Just sing every note flat so that it sounds wrong
Just give up on life and let down your hair
And whine about what you think is unfair
All you people with your perfect lives
You just don't know how hard it is to be me
'Cause I have black bangs, and they hang in my eyes
And they make it really hard to see
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The Convenient Distractions Victoria, British Columbia
The Convenient Distractions include guitarist/vocalist Brody, bassist Jordan Lambeth, and drummer Ryan Krasman. Originally from Campbell River and based in Victoria, this power trio has crafted two albums full of rock and other such nonsense. Whether advising on poor relationships or chronicling a video store employee's obsession with a customer, they will certainly distract. ... more
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